I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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