Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
