Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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