addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
