farters have to be the big spoon...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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