I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
