There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
