You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
