I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
