So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
