I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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