READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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