What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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