Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
