You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
