Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers