Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Where were you when I was single???

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Still in diapers.

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(509): View more from Washington

woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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(913): View more from Kansas

girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(513): View more from Ohio

It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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(618): View more from Illinois

It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life

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