I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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