He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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