i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
