Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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