My underwear smells like fireworks.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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