I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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