this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
