My liver just broke up with me...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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