i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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