I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
