high people should be assigned attendants
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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