My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
