Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
