sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
