Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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