Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
be right there i have to get my cape
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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