i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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