once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
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dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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