Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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