I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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