I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize