id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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