He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
