Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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