Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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