Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
