You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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