wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
