Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize