Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
