butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
