I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize