True but thats because hes a fetus.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
