"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
