it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
