I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My penis needs a shock collar
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
