Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize