Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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