dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
