meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize