READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
