i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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